Turning 30, from a professional point of view

Turning 30, from a professional point of view

Does the blog of a young HR professional, become the blog of a HR professional? A story of a journey, that is just beginning and 30 professional and life lessons to take home.

After a 2-year break from my last article, for various personal and professional reasons, I decided it is perhaps a good time to incorporate my own analysis and conclusions at the dawn of my 30^th birthday and what it means, if it means anything, from a professional point of view. The below article is focused on a business overview of the milestone, that is moving from your 20s to your 30s.

Turning 30 is a moment that many consider important, in their lives. From a professional point of view, however, the real question is not – does it matter, but rather what it means.

Since speaking in general or about anyone else can only be an assumption, as always, I will use my own experience as the example and source of information for the below.

I have decided it is perhaps best to divide the article into 3 main topics:

1.       What I thought my professional life would be at 30 (The Dream)

2.       What my professional life and experience actually is at 30 (The Reality)

3.       What are the 30 most important lessons, that I have learned that might help more professionals worldwide (The journey is more important than the destination)

One of the great many lessons that I have learned so far in my life Is that people rarely remember a PowerPoint presentation, or pie-charts, but they always seem to remember a story. So, let me tell you a story ….

The dream

              We all start with a dream, not a goal, but a dream. Not that there is too much of a difference, however even if we have a plan (which many would agree is the difference between the two) I am sure you would agree that at the age of 4, that plan would probably lack the necessary steps and actions necessary for achieving your dreams. Of course, many would say - how many children have dreams or life goals, let alone business ones – the real answer is – not a lot, but I did.

              I was perhaps a bit fortunate, or not, to be born in some of the direst times of my home country and as such, my family and the society I lived in – post-communist Bulgaria. Almost complete economic collapse, a divided society, food and basic commodities deficits and an uncertain future was how I would describe my early life, but it comes with a “however”.  Many would say – how could you say after the above description that you were fortunate, but as I said – there is a however. The however was, that after living for 45 years under a dictatorship, I was born and grew up with the most important value – hope. Hope that the worst is behind us, hope that with hard work, a brighter future will come, hope, that our destinies are finally our own. I am certain, that a childhood of comfort, of many toys, of a care-free life, that perhaps many children in the developed world had, would have been better, but there is a strange sense of motivation for one’s own development, when your childhood is 500,000 people protesting for democracy, when you see what it actually takes to make a life out of nothing, when your role models are your own parents providing you with a good education and values in times of absolute chaos. I cannot say that I was deprived of my childhood, but I can say that I was given much more – a very early lesson, that if you want something in life, you will have to dedicate yourself to it, no matter the cost, the risks or the journey to it. My parents dream, was for me to have a better life than the one they did.

              It was from that point, that instead of children’s books I was listening about self-made people of success and what I learned was that most of them, were not people of privilege, but rather people of vision, of self-sacrifice, of dedication, but above all – professionals, that not only endured the hardships of their early lives, which broke many others, but they took all the pain, uncertainty and unfairness and made them into people of success.

              I was privileged in the sense, that both of my parents were not only well educated but were also people of vision. They knew something, that for a parent must have been hard – that even though they were now living in a democratic, market-economy and law-abiding society, it will take decades, at least, before they and myself can live the “normal” life, that we considered most people in the West were living. As such, the first dream that they incorporated in me and that I took as my early life’s mission – was to immigrate and educate myself abroad. (The old system, cannot teach you how to succeed in the new one).  It is perhaps a horrible thing to say that leaving everyone and everything you know, on the sheer hope of a better life, is a dream, but only 7 years after the political changes, after the now self-declared socialists (who were the same people that “governed” the country of the last 45 years) brought the country to bankruptcy, it was clear that my parents hopes have been corrupted and sold out. From that moment onwards, I knew there is only one way for me and others like me – a one-way ticket.

              Since the USA was the role model for opportunity without limit, (regardless of your view, what is America, if not the shining example of how people who work hard, can not only create a great life, but also one of the most successful and established countries in human history), I followed the business model that 1990s America was promoting, at least for people who have not invented something amazing, which sadly I have not – get a good education, work your way through the corporate ladder to the very top and then change the world.

              Here comes my real goal, and I expect many would laugh here - I wanted to become the world richest man. It is a vague dream, unless you know why, of course. I wanted to achieve this, not for some grand world-domination goal, or prestige, or sheer mercantilism, but because I knew that money makes the world go round. In reality, and it took me many years to understand this, I was just following my father’s dream – to live in a civilized society with endless opportunity, which was his fathers dream before him and his before him. They were unlucky, because they were and are also man of vision, dedication, hard work and risk takers, but they were deprived of any and all chances in a dictatorship. So many years later I realized, that I wanted to have it all, not for myself, but so that one day someone with my last name can set his or her own goals, regardless of what they are. (but I will get to that a bit later)

              So, rolling the clock 10 years later, I was almost 18 years old. I had learned English to the level, of which it could not be distinguished that I was not a native speaker. I read endless amounts of literature and study books on history, politics, economics, business, psychology and other subjects of that sort. I knew what an international career would take – adaptability, tact, communication skills, analytical behavior, hunger for knowledge and experience, comfort in uncertainty and dedication. I ignored all the self-destructive “habits” that young people growing up, not just in Eastern Europe, do – excessive drinking, smoking, drugs, fighting, crime or other endangering activities. I even stayed away from serious relationships because I knew I could allow myself to “fall in love” and abandon my dreams. At the end of the day, the road of ambition is a road for one. (I would hate to lie and say I did not do all of the above, but I can say with a hand on my heart it was never excessive or dangerous). 

I had a simple risk assessment matrix when faced with anything:

1.       Will it get me closer to my goal or further?

2.       Can it endanger myself or my goals?

Simple as this. That is, what I learned another 10 years later, called strategic management – to align all your actions and activities to a single tangible goal.

Most people would call it crazy – to deprive yourself of the simple “pleasures” or stages of a young life, but most people lack the necessary lessons in history, about those that wrote it and how they lived their lives. Or as the below goes:

Always remember – that most people will live their lives like a leaf in a stream, going somewhere, pushed by the current, not themselves. People told Rembrandt – “You will never be an artist, you have only 1 ear. He replied – Sorry, I cannot hear you”. Today I think we all know who Rembrandt is, but I do not think if anyone remembers his critics.

It was with a sense of achievement that I can say that at that stage, everyone would describe me as one of the most dedicated, hardworking, intelligent and ambitious young people they know. But it was time to start the real journey.

I am sure that a 3-page introduction to my story might be a bit too much, but how can you understand my goals, if you do not know what made them goals.

So, to answer the initial question – what I through my professional life would be at the age of 30, the answer is – a well-educated manager, in a large corporation, in either a West European country or the USA, with a track record of success and already established the basic needs in life – a house, a car and enough money in the bank, not to worry if and where I work.

And so, the journey started – I started my BBA in the Netherlands, studying International Business and Management. Luckily for me the education in the Netherlands (which is categorically one of the best I have seen) allows you to experience in your first year all the specialties, so I found HR – a fantastic combination of business and psychology, relying on the only resource that will never stop developing – the human being. (Of course for most people, HR are a few ladies and gents who sign your contract and can advise you on your sick leave, but of course this is not even close to what real HR is, or at least the HR that I was educated in) As a pragmatic person I also measured that it is internationally applicable and I can get a starting job in it, almost anywhere. Thus, started the idea of a “young HR”. I was taking every lesson, team-based project, piece of literature and opportunity. I was blessed to have some of the most forward thinking “revolutionaries” in the field as my teachers, who did not teach us the what, the how or the where, but they thought us something more important – to always seek “the why”. To dissect every situation to its core until key problems or solutions immerge and to then use our own business knowledge and attitude to transform them into ideas and projects to the develop the business we were in. For most of my fellow students, it was just an education or the “bla-bla” that 4 elderly Dutchmen were paid to do, but for me, it was the final academic gift that I needed – the tools and mindset to jump without fear, to see opportunities everywhere, to know that the world is a sandbox and everything and everyone in it, can be shaped, by those who know what they are doing.

So far, so good, right?

Almost. Life has a sense of humor, especially for those who make plans. It was 2011, the financial crisis was at its peak, I was still no one from nowhere, who also needed a work permit. So, all my “greatness” was unfortunately hard to put on a CV with zero (relevant) work experience. I was facing the hard truth that most graduates understand, that in the university you are being prepared to be a director, or at least a manager, but in reality, making coffee for a boss might be a bit high level job, for you to get, right now. Basically, I was in the classic loop:

              After a 4-year degree in one of the most expensive countries in the world, you can imagine that just sitting and waiting for someone to hire me was not an option. I had to go back to my home country, which I swore I’d never do and get a local job, which is what I also swore I would never do. But then I asked myself – would Warren Buffet, Bill Gates or Alexander the Great complain about it if that happens – I rather doubt it.

              So, I got back and rolled up my sleeves. I quickly understood that having a top foreign education, good command of a few languages and all the necessary soft-skills in a severely underdeveloped country, is actually the perfect playground to put all my academic knowledge and skills to the test. I have written a few articles on it and considering the length of this already, I will skip the details of this part – but I got it all – experience, knowledge, influence, money (not Jeff Bezos level, of course, but enough to live as good as possible) and above all – self-confidence, that no matter where, how or in what position, as long as I keep focus on my goals and take every opportunity - I will succeed.

              By the age of 26, I had already experienced every field of recruitment and HR I could and was time for me to move back to where I knew I had to be – abroad. I even found a girl, that believed in me, as much as I did, and she followed me there. We established ourselves in the UK, a perfect location for development, career opportunities and high income (you can refer to my previous article comparing recruitment in Bulgaria and the UK), so you could say I was back on track. I worked hard, pushed even harder, provided for ourselves and established myself in the business I was in, as well as integrate into the British society.

              A quick milestone check could motivate me, that I am right on track – better, more knowledgeable, more hard working, more dedicated than ever. With every single job I doubled my salary, I was and am respected, I got every opportunity I asked for. And then something happened.

              You can say, that the birth of my son, was a key point in the re-alignment of my goals, or perhaps the moment, in which I actually understood what my goals really meant. I did not care, if I would end up rich or not anymore, If I would be a man of success or of respect. All I wanted, was for him to be happy, healthy and to have a better life, than the one I had.

              A child is an incredible source of motivation – I worked harder than ever, I was more focused, more dedicated, I was relentless in my pursuit to provide a good standard of living. I no longer cared about the 11 months of rain, the boring lack of social life or even the constant discrimination that East Europeans have to endure these days in “Brexit” Britain.

              But, as the saying goes – “life is what happens to you, while you’re busy making other plans”. My partner and I decided that our lives are to go their separate ways, but having a child and being a responsible father, meant that I must go back, yet again, to the one place I never wanted to end up – back “home”. Worse yet, now that I have a child, that I love more than life itself, I knew that it will be the end of my dream of an international career.

          The reality

              So here I am, a few days away from my 30^th birthday, the milestone, which was to be an indication of how close I am to the dreams I always had. I love saying that every situation in life is like a coin – with two sides of the same thing.

              On one end, you can evaluate my situation and a reality check will tell you this – I am not abroad, I am not the manager, chairman or CEO of multi-national corporation. I probably have less than 5,000 euro to my name, live on rent, drive an old car, see my child 2 days a week, I am stuck in my home country, this time for good. A bit gloomy, is it not?!

              On the other hand, however, I am still 29 years old. I have the best HR education I could have gotten. I have a successful career of over 7 years in 4 countries on 2 continents. I have thrived, succeeded and left a mark in every job, project or person I have worked in. I have all my friends, family, colleagues, my lovely son a few streets away. I have enough income to live on the same standard that middle-class in any developed country lives on. I have read more books, met more people, learned more lessons than most people will in their entire lives. I am working in an international organization with professionals from all over the world, where I am respected, where I leave an impact on a daily basis and develop the business, the team and myself. I help without expecting anything in return, I smile every day and thank God for everything in my life.

              So … did I become a man of success? I do not know, it is for others to say. What can be measured is if I am a man with high net-worth – and I am not. But the most important lesson, that I have learned, the most important lesson that you could and should learn, is that worth and value are two different things. That the real value in life, is not the money or resources you can achieve. It is not the career or setting you thought you would have by now. It is not the recognition you desire or expected. The real value is taking the lessons of life, of business, of hardships and happiness and using them every single day, with every single person, to make your life and theirs – better. To keep learning, to keep working, to keep believing, to keep dreaming. To never stop pursuing your goals, to be able to adapt them to the environment and stages of your life, to never quit.

Should the blog of a young HR professional become the blog of a HR professional?

              Now that I am almost 30, many would say yes. I, however, will have to disagree. Age, youth or even success is merely a point of view. You are young, as long as you keep learning, keep experiencing, keep building, keep fighting, keep loving, keep believing, keep hoping and keep knowing know little you know. I hope I will always be a young HR professional. I hope I will never learn enough to be satisfied or achieve enough to be contempt.

              Of course, I am no longer a young and promising “kid”, who uses his knowledge, passion and charisma to achieve the business goals of the companies he works in. I have to take a senior attitude towards all the tasks and matters at hand – where I would allow myself to complain 7 years ago, today I have to show positivism for the others around me. Where I would not care how long my job would last 7 years ago, today I know I have taken responsibility to the people I work with. Where I could watch movies till 2 a.m. or have a mid-week night out 7 years ago, today I know I have too many peoples’ faiths in my hands to jeopardize that. Where I knew I can always ask someone more senior to do something instead of me, today I am that guy. Maturity in professionalism is understanding the impact of your actions on a large scale, being selfless, keeping your word and being an example of what you want to see in people.

              Am I going to achieve my lifetime goal – to become the world’s richest man – I rather doubt it. But then again, was it ever my own goal, or just the expectation of so many previous generations – I guess it never was my goal. So perhaps, it is finally the time that I have understood what my goals are. You may ask what they are, but the final lesson that I will share with you is that there are 3 things that no one should know about you – your income, your private life and … your next move.

The journey is more important than the destination

30 professional and life lessons, from a young HR

              I guess the story got a bit too long, perhaps not as professional or business oriented, as some of my previous articles. 10 years ago, I would have loved, instead of reading the above to have the cheat-sheet of 30 important, or not, lessons to take home. Today, however I guess I know why authors and professionals write stories – because you can memorize facts, but if you want to learn the lessons of life and business, you will have to experience them … or at least read a story (which, by the way, contains exactly 30 life and business lessons).